Another Typical Day in the Neighborhood

Melinda long knew she needed to break up with Manny, but facing that inevitability was scary.

She moved all the way from Montana to Indiana to be with him.

They met through social media.

She had no family in Indiana. She’d made some friends here but none were especially close to her. She basically lived for Manny, and he lived for himself.

He was never there anymore when she was feeling low. He didn’t celebrate with her when she had a victory.

Today she was feeling especially lonely.

She needed to have a serious talk with him. She dreaded it.

It was Saturday. She was off work, but Manny was scheduled at the factory today. She’d have the house to herself.

She decided she needed liquid courage.

She went to Walmart to buy fresh fruit and other ingredients for her (previously) famous Bahama Mamas.

When she pushed her cart into the store, she saw the demon-possessed black woman.

She actually heard the hell-born first, coming from nearby in the produce section.

She sighed, immediately annoyed. “Oh, wouldn’t you know it!”

The face of the middle-age woman was surrounded by a dark halo. Her eyes were black holes. Her dreadlocks were writhing and reaching out, like octopus tentacles. She frothed something green from her gaping mouth, probably something with a rancid reek, which was obvious because an older couple nearby had stopped selecting bananas to puke repeatedly.

The possessed woman had her hands raised, her fingers splayed. Her fingernails were talons. As she bellowed vulgarities, she raced after a black boy– maybe ten or twelve years old. The kid was clearly terrified. He was trying to outrun his mother (?) and he was able to do so because the possessed woman kept getting sidetracked to scratch other shoppers.

People near the demon-possessed sprinter had to let loose of their carts, needing both hands to cover their ears.

The boy looked like he was getting away. He was running right toward Melinda.

Then the Walmart greeter tripped the boy, obviously a simpler solution than shooting the Hades-bitten bitch.

A moment later, the devilish woman pounced on the boy.

She bit his neck, sinking her claws into his chest lungs, instantly slicing off his screams.

Melinda stepped out of the way as the woman and her offspring ran right past her. She momentarily felt the hell-heat, which left her chilled.

A couple customers applauded the greeter before going back to shopping. The silver-haired man in a blue vest took a bow.

Putting down their weapons, the cashiers went back to ringing up purchases.

In the produce section, there was shit, piss, slime, and soooo much blood. In some places, flies were already gathering.

Most of the people who were scratched were pulling out their own first aid essentials from purses, pockets, and backpacks. One fat lady, however, was on the floor, screaming, either her thigh or her knee gushing blood– Melinda couldn't see which.

“Screw it,” she said to herself. "I’ll drink straight rum instead.”

She turned around and left the store, leaving her empty cart behind her.

⚡_______________ ⚡

She decided to stop at Taco Bell.

When she saw the drive-thru was empty, she shook her head, knowing it was about to happen again.

Pulling up to the speaker, her suspicion was confirmed.

“Welcome to Taco Bell!” It started out normally enough, with the usual recorded greeting. “What can I get started for you today?”

But then the speakers locked on and demons could be heard inside the restaurant, as well as some employees screams. She suddenly looked forward because she saw the green mist out of the corner of her eye, which was pouring out of the shattered drive-thru window.

She almost said the wrong thing, out of old habit. She said, “Oh my G–!” but then caught herself. Thinking about becoming possessed herself, she said, “Wouldn’t that just make Manny happy?”

She drove away. She had Amy’s frozen enchiladas in the freezer at home.

That would have to suffice.

"I hate this city."

⚡_______________ ⚡

The day just kept getting worse.

As she drove down 66th street toward home, she was sitting at an intersection, waiting for the stoplight to change, when the red light looked at her like an evil eye, the green light slithered round-and-round like a snake, and the yellow light exploded with a shower of sparks, startling her.

The cause was apparent. Several people were running across the street, fleeing two-demon possessed attackers. One of the demonic ones went whizzing by, only to turn its head 180 degrees around backwards to look right back at Melinda.

“I can’t believe my shitty luck!” She slammed the steering wheel, rolling her eyes. "Why does this always happen to me?"

Eventually, after lots of dueling attempts to get through the crossroad, she finally proceeded.

⚡_______________ ⚡

She clicked on the radio, which was tuned to NewsNation.

“... approval rating continues to drop, because of the conflict in Iran. Even his popularity with his base is slipping, who are angry because he vowed in his campaign that America shouldn't become involved in any more foreign wars.

"Generally, when a country goes to war, there is what political scientists call a “'rally ‘round the flag' effect”, where there is a sudden temporary surge in public approval for the President. That did not happen with Trump.”

“God, I loathe that man,” she said, still believing wholeheartedly that the unreleased Epstein files proved Trump’s own complicity with demons.

“Meanwhile today, forecasters expect more people to suffer in Texas, after a mass possession in Dallas resulted in at least 666 confirmed deaths. Travel restrictions are in effect for that area and authorities caution there should be higher than normal temperatures there, which could result in frostbite. Also expect blood running in the streets.”

Melinda groused, "Who even gives a shit anymore!"

“Closer to home, our ABC affiliate reports that least 15 people at an Indianapolis nightclub burst into flames and were….”

Melinda tuned out the announcer's neutral voice as her thoughts took up her attention.

She always talked to herself. She read somewhere it was a sign of intelligence, which was ironic considering what a fool she was with men. "Yeah, he put my name on the deed. We co-own the house. But if I break up with him, oh my Gah–”

She almost said the forbidden word again.

"Manny will go ballistic. I know it. He’s already made so many vague threats– he acts like he has some scheme cooked up to make sure I walk away from this fucked-up relationship with nothing."

Then she went down the same mental road that was her habitual pattern...

He used to love me. He used to appreciate me. I know he knows how great I am in bed.

“I should wait and see. He might come around. Who knows what will happen if I’m patient? He’s just bored. If I spice things up again, he’ll–”

She slapped herself in the forehead. “You always do this! You act like there is some hope he'll change and clearly: he never will! You’re just scared to take a Jump into the Unknown, even though you know it’ll ultimately be better for you! You need this! Stand up for yourself, bitch! You deserve better!”

She pulled into the SaveOn liquor store. Before she turned off the engine, she turned off the radio, sick of the news out of Washington. “Everyone in the White House is pure evil. Tear it down! Stuff it with gold! Hell, paint it black! That would make more sense!"

The midterms have never been more important! And that idiot I work with says his ‘vote doesn’t matter!’ Oh my Something! that irks the shit out of me!

She noticed the liquor store had a boarded-up window since she was here last. She had no reason to ask why… but it was That kind of day, so she ultimately did.

After exchanging pleasantries with the clerk, who she often saw, she asked for a bottle of Diplomático Reserva Exclusiva. She couldn’t afford it but felt like treating herself, Just Because this day righteously sucked ass.

Melinda pointed at the boarded-up window before she signed the disclaimer. “So what happened there?”

The clerk– Betty– said offhandedly, “Oh, you know. The usual.”

Melinda nodded, knowing exactly what that meant.

The disclaimer read,

I understand that by signing this, I assume full responsibility and liability if the product I purchased at this location instigates any type of demonic possession.

She scribbled her name.

She swiped her credit card.

Authorization approved.

As she left, the clerk said cheerfully, “Have a nice day!”

Melinda crumbled, “Yeah. Right.”

⚡_______________ ⚡

She passed by the lot where the old Church of Christ used to stand.

The chapel– of course– had been torn down a couple years ago, soon after the President started his third term. The formerly-holy building was nothing but a charred skeleton until recently. A month or so ago, they finally started constructing something new, although it was hard to tell what.

Melinda had heard rumors it was going to be another demotorium. All across the nation, more and more were needed– places where the infernalash of the cursed were taken for proper disposal.

Dealing with the remains of the damned wasn’t as simple as cremating a normal person. Sometimes, all that fire lent itself to demonic resurrection.

The world sure had changed since she was young.

When she pulled into her driveway at home, Manny’s car was there.

Her heart immediately started pounding. She felt sweat drip down her back.

“Why is he home?” Saturdays– when Manny was working– were about the only days she had any real peace.

She wanted to get drunk today! Fuck the risk!

Remembering how many shaitan-subjugated people she’d run into already (and it wasn't even noon yet), her dark humor kicked in. “Oh, the glories of demon alcohol! Everyone is drinking it!”

She took the pistol out of her glove-box. She loathed carrying a weapon, but these days, they were more ubiquitous than cellphones.

The laws had to be changed, long ago. Police were needed to investigate real crimes. Every police station in America was understaffed. And since Trump’s gutting of federal agencies, there was no longer a Department of Homeland Purity.

She would say this country was going to hell in a hand-basket but that would be as redundant as saying the sky is blue.

Although, at that moment, as she exited her vehicle, the sky was gray. She hadn’t looked at the weather forecast today. When she heard the thunder from a distant __lightning↯strike, she muttered, “A storm is coming.”

She meant that both literally and metaphorically.

Trembling, she walked up to their front door.

It was locked.

Why? "He never locks the doors when he's home. He’s an idiot about that! I’m the one who locks our doors.”

She quietly, nervously entered their living room.

Off to her left was a short hallway and the first room down that hallway was Manny’s ‘office’, the place where he watched TV and played his damn video games. He called it his ‘office’ which always seemed ridiculous to her, because he never did anything productive there.

She was about to call out his name when she heard the sounds– the moaning and slapping of bodies.

Her eyes grew as wide as that red traffic light that had looked at her.

Her finger on the trigger, she held the gun in her pocket, concealed but ready to fire.

She didn’t hear any women groaning, only men.

She crept slowly toward Manny's office, terrified about what she might see.

She peaked around the corner.

He was seated at his desk, surrounded by crunched-up drained Budweiser cans on the floor. He had his back to her (thankfully) and his body was mostly blocking her view. But she could see enough.

He was watching gay porn!

Pornography triggered ghouls and fiends.

Everyone with half a brain knew that.

Not for the first time, she wondered how Manny had the mental capacity to tie his own shoelaces.

… not that he was wearing shoes at the moment.

He was butt-ass naked.

She saw his right arm moving up and down.

Melinda stepped back, putting her back against the wall, trying not to gasp audibly. She couldn't get enough air.

For a moment, she was nearly panicked.

But then her brain kicked in.

It didn't seem like Manny was fully possessed yet. If he had been, he would have seen Melinda peeking at him, like he had eyes in the back of his head.

So he wasn’t totally lost...

but the porn!

... the sodomy!!

...the beer!!!

...masturbation!?!?

In one sitting, he'd thrown open four gateways.

All four deviancies were all invitations to the Infernal.

So maybe he wasn’t demon-possessed yet… but he was close.

Which meant....?

Maybe there might be a simple solution to this toxic relationship after all?

If he had demon dwelling within him, she could murder him lawfully.

But she didn’t know if it was legal to kill someone on the verge of possession.

As she was thinking this, without a sound, he suddenly walked out of his ‘office.’

His erection was twice as big as it normally was.

His eyes leaked gray sludge.

Brimstone attacked her sinuses like a swarm of hungry mosquitoes.

“⚝Hey, SUGAR!⚝” said Beelzebub, or Asmodeus, or some lesser demon under Their command. “⚝ I DECIDED NOT TO WORK TODAY. I THOUGHT I’D RIP OUT YOUR TONGUE AND FUCK YOU UP THE ASS INSTEAD.”

He laughed like a happy, hungry hyena.

She shot him in the head.

　 　 　BANG 　 💥 ❗

As Manny lay on the floor twitching, bleeding, and spewing, Manny's demon looked up at her and growled, “⚝🔥YOU’LL HAVE TO DO BETTER MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, BABY DOLL!!!🔥🔥”

So he shot him numerous times in the chest.

💥POW! 💥POW! 💥💥💥💥💥–PowPowPowPowPOW!!!!

Finally, after he whispered "Good show!" with a lingering smile– Manny was still.

She sneezed repeatedly, going across the hall to the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to blow her nose. She turned on the ceiling fan to suck away the gunsmoke. Brimstone vanished immediately once the hellspawn departed.

Melinda remembered suddenly that she forgot her rum, and she started to go out to the car to get it, but then decided she no longer wanted it.

She called the local demon department to request infernal verification and pickup of Manny's putrid corpse.

Cleaning up all his blood (and sperm on his computer eww!!🤢🤢🤮🤧) was another annoyance, but after drinking two bottles of purified water with electrolytes, she felt totally prepared to deal with the Aftermath of Manny.

It actually hadn’t turned out to be a bad day after all.

↯

__________________Bolt⚡