For Real--The Interview

Resume’ in hand, I walked into the building fifteen minutes ahead of my interview time. I noticed the foyer is empty. It is a grand space with a coffee stand located on the left and a reception counter on the right. An enormous fireplace from the ground floor to the top of the second floor towered over me. A railing above revealed a lounge on the second floor. No one is around. No one is behind the counter either. I see a sign in book. It has large shaky signatures. I look to the top to see this is for “The Residents”. To think, I had almost signed in the wrong book. Glad no one was looking. I gazed around and found a closed book to the far right lying flat on top of the gleaming black marble. I almost missed it because the book was also black. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was labeled “Visitors”. I opened the book, and with pen in hand, found the last page so that I could sign in. There were no available slots left to sign in. I felt the odd presence of eyes. I felt as though someone was watching me. I looked around, still no sign of a human in sight. I couldn’t shake that feeling. Perplexed, I decided to add a line to the bottom of the page and neatly followed the pattern of the line above to sign in. I closed the book and placed the pen down. I saw a chair by a fireplace in the center of the grand foyer. That seemed like a good place to sit while I waited the next 12 minutes. It would certainly be within earshot. So, I sat down. I placed the resume’ in my lap and neatly folded my hands together. I felt a little conspicuous. I shifted in my seat to make sure I had good posture and crossed my ankles, slightly adjusting both knees to the left and ankles to the right. I could hear and see no one. Yet, I had the unmistakable sense of someone nearby. I looked around. I sniffed the air. I listened so that I could hear a pin drop. Nothing. I gazed at my arms extending beyond the suit sleeves. The hairs stood up. It wasn’t particularly cold in the room, but it was clear that my senses were on overdrive. Time ticked on, slowly, ever so slowly. Agonizing—time ticked on.

“Good morning,” a cheerful voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up and a pleasant person was walking towards me. I had no idea where she came from. I never even heard her enter the room or see her go over to the counter. Though her voice was welcoming, and she had a gentle smile on her face, her eyes told a different story. Was there something calculating in the stare, or was I reading something into it? I shook it off. I must be on edge due to the interview. I stood up and introduced myself. I extended my hand for a greeting and gave her my resume’. “If you will follow me, please.” Naturally, I followed behind. We traveled the wide corridor and made a left turn and left turn again to a large conference room. It seemed bright with a lot of natural sunlight streaming in. The conference table was massive and made a bold impression. People sat in all of the seats except one located at the end. The people seated seemed pleasant enough, but their eyes, there was something in their stare. I couldn’t place it. I saw ‘the greeter’ hand my resume’ to a lady at the other end of the table. I said, “Good morning” and ‘the greeter’ introduced me. The moment sizzled and crackled as if the atmosphere was alive, and electricity seemed to be sparking all around me. My thoughts were interrupted by a “Won’t you sit down” as ‘the greeter’ waved me toward my seat before turning around and walking out of the room. I felt myself smile and sat down as upright as a stiff board. I took in the recording device on the table, the cameras in all corners of the room, a phone at the other end of the table, and my resume’ already printed and at each person’s place sitting atop a folded leather portfolio with a pen. I thought, they must have printed the resume’ I submitted online. It’s a good thing though because I had only expected one person in the interview.

The interview progressed with each person taking turns asking me questions. None of the questions seemed relevant to the job. I answered each question, though feeling my privacy had been invaded. The questions seemed to center on my routines, caffein intake, exercise programs, personal preferences, style choices. I couldn’t make the connection to the application or job advertised at all. They acted as though everything was normal. They nodded at each other each time a new question emerged. My answers seemed to be heard as they politely smiled. But there was a knowing look, it was eerie. It was as though they knew what I would say in response to each question ahead of time. There was a foreboding omniscience present. I could make no sense of it, only that there was more to this story than met the eye. The interview ended, and I was escorted away. I felt their eyes on my back. I felt their eyes as I walked across the parking lot. I felt the air crackle and sun shift through me. I never looked back. I never went back. I was never called back. I never wanted to take an interview again.