Considerations on the Paywall

When I joined Vocal, back in the dark days before you could even edit your stories without emailing the admin team, I wasn't sure what to expect from it. Fast forward a few years and it's a thriving community with thousands of writers (some exceptionally talented) cheering each other on and a growing list of challenges and features that shock me when I really stop to think about them...

I'm not a creature of change, I'll be the first to admit that, so it probably won't come as a surprise to anyone that I still haven't decided how I feel about the option to publish subscriber exclusive content behind paywall. Don't get me wrong; its not that a lot of the content on here isn't worth paying for and its not that I baulk at the idea of paying a writer I enjoy (in fact I do subscribe to a few people)... it's that I can't really see myself using it.

I toy with the idea now and then, especially for the pieces I write on folklore or authorship and craft resources because they take so long to research... and then I back off. I'd like to tell you that it's some kind of ideological, moral stand point that I can't let go of, but the truth is much simpler.

I, like many creatives I would imagine, find it easy to see the cold, hard cash value of other peoples work while simultaneously struggle to see it in my own. I cheer for features like tipping and premium subscriptions because I can list writers on both hands and feet that I feel should be getting paid in a more formal sense for what they offer...

But if I try to think that way about my own work a little voice whispers in my ear that I'm selling out, being mercenary... that what I'm writing really isn't worth paying for and so I shouldn't ask for money, and that if I do no one will pay it anyway.

This may sound like a pity party for one, but think of it as a flag; fellow writers, if you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. These days creative media and content is pumped out at an alarming rate, often with the help of AI, and its so often free at the point of consumption that it can feel unrealistic to expect to be paid for what your merely human brain can produce. I get it - I see you.

And Yet...

I know I have experience and knowledge I can share, and I know that plenty of people out there would charge over the odds for courses and access to emailing lists that I could produce, admittedly with a fair amount of legwork and research.

And I know there's an appetite for it; when I did some research an published a short list of magazines that pay for fiction it became a top story and got 50 likes (not huge I know, but its probably the most liked story I have to date). Yet the uncertainty remains, and as I ponder that fact I have started to wonder what it is about writers that makes so many of us feel that what we put our heart and soul into has no real value?

Some academics say that self-esteem and self-worth are situational and intertwined with socialization and stigma. In short, if we are told that we are worthless, if the world tells us we are not valuable, if we exist in a space where what we have to offer is overlooked often enough we start to believe it. And there's truth in that.

How many times have you been asked if you're still working on your "little book" or heard someone say that writing is not a 'real job'? I know I've lost count. I'm lucky enough to have people around me that see the worth in what I can do, so I keep going (and certainly the community here helps), but there's still that lingering belief that making up stories, no matter how well, is not a 'real' way to live. Not a career. To put it simply; a hobby and not a livelihood.

Add to that the communities on sites like tumblr and reddit who will happily tell you how they pirate books because they feel entitled to it and authors dont really deserve the money and the picture comes into focus; we live in a world that doesn't value creative energy and work. Therefore, it makes sense that many of us have come to share that view and turn it against ourselves.

I dug into what feels like thousands of sources, trawled blogs, dove into Google Scholar, researched success rates for authors vs bloggers vs poets and one simple fact remained.

I Don't Have the Answers...

I wish I did. I wish I could write to you all and tell you i've decided one way or the other, but the truth is I constantly swing between the idea of producing a resource base of fact checked, solid articles to help writers and simply abandoning the idea. I flip flop from thinking its a good idea to monetize it with subscriber content and simply making it freely available. I toy with the idea of making some of it freely available and only putting the stuff that really takes hard research into the exclusive content box.

I wrestle with guilt for considering it at all.

So, as I often do, I've come to you; the Vocal community. Not with answers but with a million questions. What do you think? Do you struggle with it to?

Am I overthinking this?