Green leaf on fresh snow
She sleeps with his sweater vest
Night of still, cold air.
Tears are icicles
the summer sun melts. Watch them
drift into the sky.
A/N: This is for Kenny Penn's Haikuplet Chains Challenge. If you'd like to add a link in this chain, please do! See the link above for the rules :D.
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
Most stories are reverted to Drafts, but will keep up resources & posts that hold community significance. May drop in for tips or updates.
My love & gratitude to you all.
It's time to pivot.
Boycott ALL A.I. \ Copyright Mackenzie Davis
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More stories from Mackenzie Davis and writers in Poets and other communities.
This Is What I Do When People Throw Rocks At Me
Rocks have been thrown at me for a greater part of my life. Some have been small and missed hitting me. When people don't get a reaction from me, they throw bigger rocks with a better aim. Many have been hurled at me with precision over the years. For a long time, I thought my only options were to dodge them or be crushed by them.
By Margaret Minnicksabout 15 hours ago in Confessions
Comments (16)
Beautifully done… an interesting challenge 🤩
I get the feeling that I'm going to have to come back and ponder this one a bit more <3 The tasting notes are: hints of melancholy, an up front juxtaposition, and an after taste of soul-deep regret? Hmm... interesting... interesting... I love that last line "watch them drift into the sky" as though the pain of what had come before, the man who wore the sweater vest, evaporates under the warmth of a new sun. Simply excellent, even for my peasant's poetic palate XD <3
Notes of contrast all through this, and fresh snow vs summer sun perfectly captures the changing of seasons of a relationship (or even simply, love). The title is so smart Mackenzie. It says it all before the piece has even begun!
Love the cycle of change captured in the last stanza!! Great haikuplet, Mackenzie!
Beautiful! Such an interesting challenge and a great entry! Good luck!
Such a good haikuplet! I really like the "Tears are icicles / the summer sun melts" line!
Beautifully sad and interesting! 2 days left. I think I will put on my extra special thinking cap to see if I can rise to or even equal the level of thought behind this. Pray for me 😅.
So gorgeous💛
Loving the imagery of tears as temporary and transient. Smashing piece.
Well this was heartbreaking!! Beautiful work Mackenzie!!
OMG! You nailed this Haikuplet, Mackenzie! I especially loved “Tears are icicles the summer sun melts.”
So so amazing .i love your content and subscribed. Kindly reciprocate, thank you and keep it up
She sleeps with his sweater vest, I especially loved that!
So poignant
Beautiful, reflective, and emotional in one short piece. I love it!
Liked your poem.