It's So Quiet Here

Not enough?

OH!

too much!

…wait, what?

It’s not easy for me

putting myself out there.

Especially because I don’t know

where there is.

I mean…I kinda do…right?

It wasn’t easy to speak up,

speak out.

Because it almost always seems

like a mistake afterwards.

Silence.

Did I really just say that?

That loudly?

Well, why?

I don’t…

No, I meant it.

I’m sure I did, or I wouldn’t

have said it, right?

What am I doing?

What am I saying?

No, what am I TRYING to say?

I’m always reassuring myself

-and everyone else-

that I don’t give a fuck

what people think of me.

But I must

or else why would I second guess

myself?

Was my laugh too loud?

Did I stare too long?

That smile was awkward as FUCK.

I never want to fade into

the background.

But I never want to be center stage.

Man, I’m itching for those chips

but the crunching is so loud.

At least, it is in MY ears.

And it’s so quiet here.

It wasn’t easy for me to

come here.

Forcing myself was a good idea.

I fell in love.

Not with a person,

not even a place.

I fell in love with a feeling.

Like I always do.

I’m addicted to feelings,

to feeling,

to sensation.

I feel intensely.

You may or may not guess that

by my face.

Sometimes it’s too much.

It comes pouring out of…

My mouth

My eyes

My legs

Hips

Feet

I react intensely

in the moment.

My poker face is as plain as the nose,

yet…nothing.

I don’t follow rules.

I don’t like boxes.

I’ll run away.

Or laugh like foxes.

Sometimes it rhymes.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

I don’t really give a fuck.