What I Held Inside Me When the World Believed I Was Whole

I have walked with my hands behind my back

and none have seen what I carried within them

the ache for closeness I could not title

the joy too large to speak without trembling

the memory of a face that visited only in sleep

I passed through mornings gilded with light

smiled at the laborer, the mother with her child

the man who never knew he lived inside a dream I once had

and still I said nothing

Inside me lives a boy who swallowed each question

who watched the sky and feared his own voice

who longed to sing but learned instead to write

I felt the tide of sorrow rise

while laughter passed my lips

I became the lover with unsent letters in his heart

the friend who never spoke the truest thing

And now I write these lines not to be heard

but because silence too is a country

and I have lived there long enough

Whoever you are

you reading this

you with your own locked song

I have seen you

Come walk beside me Let us speak