Broken Pieces

It's been almost three months. I tried to fall for you slowly, easily, so I could protect my heart. Those attempts failed. You are so kind, considerate, and empathetic. I felt that when you looked at me, you saw me all the way to my soul. The physical attraction was immediate and intense. Two lost and broken souls just trying to find their way home. The first time I looked into your sky-blue eyes, I saw sadness, I saw exhaustion, and the vast emptiness that comes from just giving up. However, in each other, we found hope. I could see that spark of hope in your eyes. That you wanted this to be real just as much as I did, something to hold onto, something true, something that could last a lifetime and not just until things got too hard. We moved in together pretty quickly due to life and circumstances. Honestly, we needed each other to hold on to at night. I know now that your life has been riddled with demons, pain, depression, anxiety, ptsd and so many triggers from your past. You have never been given the right mental tools to move through your pain and torment. So, you have just remained silent and swallowed your pain. No one should have to hold that much pain alone. It has been a task trying to help you, but also hold space for my own well-being, but I want you to know that you are worth it to me. You are not too broken and will never be too broken. I want to show you that I can hold space for both your mental health and my own. We both have so much going on in our minds, and we both try to hold each other up as best we can. When your demons come out to play, I try to slay them or at least make them shut the fuck up, and you do the same for me. We can hold each other, cry, scream at the world, go break shit together, or just sit in silence. I'm trying to learn what you need in your moments of mental health crisis, and I can tell you're trying to learn what I need as well. Have you ever heard of the term "hot mess"? That describes us perfectly. But we are perfectly imperfect. I am your Juliet, and you are my Romeo, as cheesy as that sounds. I swear we're going to be okay. I swear we're going to get healthy together. I've already done some work myself, but we are a team now, and we have to work together. I'm not leaving you. Where you go, I go, together forever. Mental health is a cruel mistress that holds no prisioners. You are such a beautiful soul that has come into my life, and you've helped me in so many ways. You help add structure in my life, you help with my daughter, you're my friend I can talk through my day and emotions with, my partner I can figure out life with, my lover, when I can't breathe because of a panic attack, you hold me and talk me through it. I wouldn't go back to being alone. I want you, all of you, even the broken pieces, because you take me and my broken pieces. Life is full of broken pieces, but what makes it better is to find that special someone who will hold both you and your broken pieces and still say I love you no matter what.