Gerard DiLeo

Joined July 2021

874 stories

Bio

Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!

Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/

My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo

[email protected]

Achievements (14)

Stories (874)

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Magic Corn
Zea mays everta ain't your average kernel Its raison d'être crops from heat internal After 400 degrees of insistent Fahrenheit
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
79 Devil in the Details
“They called us stupid. Hollywood, Rolling Stone magazine, New York Times. But the Lord doesn't agree!” Affirmations affirmed, and adorers adored. Hallelujahs resounded.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
St. Patrick's Catholic Sense of Humor
Patrick was a cleric and a prude Who thought it would be hysterically rude To rid Ireland of snakes By driving them into lakes
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
The Red Carpet
My life's first steps walked softly unsteady On the plush and the lush of life's red carpet Rolled out just ahead of me As a bolt of circuitous what-goes-around
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
Something From Nothing
I wasn't anything. I was nothing. I started out with nothing, and anything that accrued was summarily cancelled by an equal and opposite removal of everything, making me a zero. Yet, if I walked three steps forward, I moved only 2.999 steps backward.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
77 Digital Message in an Analog World
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been.'" — John Greenleaf Whittier, 1854 They had me and they knew it. Time to pay the piper. Time to pay Paul; Peter's robbery now irrelevant. My lesson: spend their money and don't pay them back--lose a finger. Or more.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
The Land of Opportunity
Ken Eversauff, a broken man in a broken life, sat on an emblematic broken barstool. “Barkeep! This chair rocks. I need a replacement.”
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
S, C, & P: An Ode to Elves on the Shelves
Even though they're mostly nothing They each have a story to tell But the mostly air is mostly bluffing When air escapes their grainy shell
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
Data
THE INCOME Data comes in From vibrations abroad Are filtered from the din Of the builders of fraud I Wafts of biochemistry and alchemy inhaled
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets
Beware the Tides of March
My almanac says high tide will be on March 15. The ground is already oversaturated by the unprecedented February rains, so the water table has very little give left in it to resist unusual tides.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
74 To Kill a Killer
If I could get away with it, I would kill a killer and do everyone a big favor. Of course, it'd be even sweeter if I did this before he were to actually kill someone. (I say "he" because murder, rape, pedophilia, and even whole wars are all about testosterone, right?)
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
Mr. Wedding Cake
Very first job At the age of fourteen Postpubescent dreams Of what twelve dollars a week can buy From under the table To the cash in my pocket
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Poets