Satire
New Life Anonymous
Welcome to New Life Anonymous. Here at New Life, we know the challenges you face daily: the desire to leave your old life behind, combined with the obligations bogging you down, preventing you from finally making that final move. Many of our members faced the same hurdles and tried the traditional so-called solutions: the self-help books, a revolving door of therapists, and often a new wife or husband in the hopes they might help unveil utopia. As the founder of New Life, I’m here to tell you, there is a true tried-and-true simpler approach that has already transformed thousands of lives and can finally help you! For only $599/month, you too can leave the old and ring in the new. Our package includes the following:
By ANITA RACHELLE4 years ago in Fiction
Next!
Mmm. Another day, another boat load of problems just waiting for a grown arse man tired and hungover wearing a bright coloured apron and a name badge. There’s nothing worse than having to stand here and serve self righteous idiots. Let’s take her sat over there in the corner for example. If she tells me one more time that her coffees gone cold I’m gonna ….. deep breaths;
By Stephen Maloney 4 years ago in Fiction
Terror is Pink
“Has anyone heard from Jonah recently?” her friend asks during dinner, between multiple rounds of drinks, appetizers and entrees. They’re celebrating her and it’s been a good night, filled with laughter and support. The question barely registers amid the ruckus but enough people hear it to answer absentmindedly.
By Lela Draganic4 years ago in Fiction
Comic Sans vs. Times New Roman
Comic Sans vs. Times New Roman By David Lastinger Comic was new to the neighborhood. His dad had gotten a promotion that came with a required move. Comic didn't know much about what his dad did except that he was influential in his company. He worked with computers, and many people counted on him to do his job well.
By David Lastinger4 years ago in Fiction
The Wild West Dictionary Definition of ANNUS HORRIBILIS.
Badass Hindmost was a feared name in the flat, treacherous lands of Arizona during the Wild West days of packing heat and forever riding off into the sunset—which seemed to recede further and further until it sunk with a hiss 480 miles away into an over-the-horizon pond called the Pacific.
By Denis Joseph4 years ago in Fiction
Jesus is Just Another Name For Gruyere
When you sit down in a group meeting, the first thing you do is look to your left and then to your right and reassure yourself that you aren’t as fucked up as the people on either side of you, but you don’t really know better one way or another because nobody has shared anything yet. You haven’t decided if you want to cut yourself open and let the rotting corpse from within spill out onto the floor when it’s your turn to share or if you are contented to remain a voyeur and watch everyone else bleed in front of you.
By Dutch Simmons4 years ago in Fiction
Moscow's Calling - 4
The following conversation took place on Dec.23, 2021, after Putin performed his annual 3.5-hour TV show of a live conference call with citizens and journalists where he answered a total of 44 questions. For his own memorable performance, Trump gave an interview to Candace Owens.
By Lana V Lynx4 years ago in Fiction
Trump Satire
This is Donald Trump - your president (#AKAGod #POTUS). Although none of us saw this coming, I’m doing something no other president has ever done. It’s something new, something we’ve been working on for quite some time and we’re very proud of it. I am sending you each Trump Tweets (#generosity #donaldtrumpisthoughtful). It’s the same as US dollars, just has my face on it. I’ve already talked to the banks and they’ve all agreed. Best. Idea. Ever!
By John Hanna4 years ago in Fiction
