Wink of an Eye

Camera angles tilt shamelessly, human flies buzz the Enterprise crews' ear drums, and Kirk drinks magic hyper accelerating space coffee. And it all happens...in a wink.

“Wink of an Eye” is one of the episodes of "Trek" I like the least—although there is a wonderful-looking alien outer space sex goddess wandering around in sci-fi lingerie; and, of course, she immediately falls for James Tiberius, as all women, extraterrestrial or otherwise, always did in those days. It involves aliens that hyperaccelerate their speed, becoming invisible, insect-like buzzes that become bothersome to the ears when the Away Team of Bones, Kirk, and doomed crewman Mr. Compton beam down to planet Scalos, which looks like a bad matte painting, even in the refurbished DVD edition with the added CGI effects.

But let’s back up.

Kirk and crew get a distress call from Scalos, and beam right down there to find—nothing. Nobody. Bupkis. Where the hell did they all go? They were here just a minute ago.

Well, Kirk makes it back to the bridge, and there are some “odd” malfunctions. I guess it stumps Mr. Scott, but what’s even weirder is that everyone seems to be slowed down to a kind of suspended animation. Spock, in particular, is not his usual lively self. Kirk is okay.

Keep in mind that Kirk only experiences this after entering the state of “hyperacceleration” by drinking a cup of coffee—yeah, that usually happens to me too. Also, I usually end up running to the loo. A lot.

Why this particular coffee is something that is explained later, but I don’t remember what the explanation was (I’m sure Wikipedia can fill me in), and so I’m left with the only (as Spock would have it) LOGICAL explanation: writer Gene L. Coon was having a bit of a lark here.

Explanation enough.

Deela (Kathie Browne), the alien space queen in a sheer Frederick’s of Hollywood bedroom ensemble (also sporting a 1966 beehive-cum-Loretta Lynn hairdo that would make Alexandra Moltke blush), is also hyperaccelerated and is madly in love with Jimmy T. As we noted before, this was to be expected. (One doesn’t need to Vulcan mind-meld or have the telepathy of a dime-store space station-invading ET psychic to see that this is the inevitable end result of the Kirk Unit encountering alien femdom.)

Deela and cranky male companion Rael (I seem to recall a race car driver-cum-“religious leader” in France assumed the same name after UFOnauts contacted him and informed him of his messianic mission to save the Earth and clonelike humans) manage to kill Compton (Geoffrey Binney), whose disappearance on Scalos was just another example of the aforementioned “hyperacceleration”—who grows older like some freak scene from an Old Dracula movie (he does not, in point of fact, crumble to dust), and the lynchpin revealed is that the hyperaccelerated Scalosians plan to render, via a seemingly indestructible device in Life Support, the entire crew of the Enterprise a bunch of walking popsicles—well, maybe more inert and stationary; you get the drift.

Why specifically they want this is anyone’s guess—or at least, it was until Wikipedia filled me in on what the underlying lynchpin of the plot really happened to be. I’ll give you a hint: it all comes down to horny space women.

But then again, doesn’t it always?

I could give away additional plot points and ruin the rather tepid fun of the whole thing. Suffice it to say, this interstellar voyage was less than stellar, it buzzing around my mental earlobe like a particularly pesky hyperaccelerated Outer Space Queen. (There’s a great song by punk rock goddess Kembra Pfahler, who fronts The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black, called “Honky Tonk Biscuit Queen”; but, really, that has no bearing on this subject at all.)

Not my favorite of the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. I do like the idea that hyperacceleration causes everyone else around you to move as if they are being run in slow-mo. Imagine what this could mean for my sex life.

Baker out.

Original Star Trek TV Series Trailer S03E11 Wink of An Eye Preview Trailer

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