marriage
Marriage is not so much a word as it is a sentence–a life sentence.
Do Not Get Married
Don't get married Think you should get married? Probably not! Marriage is not just "hard" and you don't just have to "work at it" like everyone says. Marriage is hurtful, and painful. It's suffocating, and lackluster. It's boring and mundane. Marriage is betrayal and lonely at times. Marriage is full of tears, and half of them are from the hurt your "other half" has caused. If you think marriage is just something you have to "work at", do yourself a favor, don't get married. Your success is not determined by the "work" you put into it. I've seen couples put in all the work, do all the things, read all the books in order to save their marriage. Hours and hours of "couples counseling" and thousands of dollars on a "romantic trip for two" to that trendy new retreat....all to end up divorced a month after. You could turn your marriage into your full-time job, and work all the overtime in the world, and it wouldn't solve the problem. Because the secret is, FORGIVENESS doesn't come from hours of reading self help books. NON-JUDGEMENT doesn't come from your over priced marriage counselor. UNDERSTANDING doesn't come from a couples retreat with your new nearest and dearest facebook strangers you now call friends. The photos you take on that sandy beach will be focused on trying to act like all that "marriage work" is really working...but the truth will be written all over your face.....that it's not. That it's an act, a con, to keep yourself from realizing that you truly don't forgive, you don't understand, and you judge each other more harshly than anyone... a stranger who doesn't even "love them" like you will show more compassion. My 9th wedding anniversary was yesterday. And I sat and thought about all the horrible things my husband and I have done to one another. The pain we have caused to each other. And I sat and thought about the 9 years we have stuck together. Not because we had to, or for our daughter. It wasn't because we were obligated by religion or our faith or our families. We have been through addiction, betrayal, mental disease, physical disease, court battles, infertility, job losses, financial ruin, family disappointment, loss of a child, and countless other painful events. But you know what? Every hurt I went through was with him. Even the hurts he caused, he was still there. He understood me in my times of weakness, and forgave me in my times of betrayal. He never judged me by my faults but always upheld me to my successes. He never left. And neither did I. I forgave him when no one else would. I loved him when he was unlovable. I took care of him when he was sick, and I held his hand when he was alone. Marriage is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But my God, that pain is powerful. And that power is how you know you are living. To not know LOVE and the powerful and sometimes so painful branches that grow from it, means that you'll never experience the power of the other side of that feeling. The passion, the excitement, laughter, and the silence. The perfect way your bodies fit next to each other. Or knowing every bump or freckle on the other's skin. You'll never feel the feeling that just one person on this Earth of 7.8 billion people truly UNDERSTANDS you at your deepest level... you'll never have the comfort of knowing you can tell them anything, or make mistakes, but yet you'll never be JUDGED or abandoned. You'll never be soothed to sleep by the FORGIVENESS you feel when you feel his hand grab yours after a night full of tears. The success of your marriage is built on those three words. Understanding, Forgiveness, and Non-judgment. You can't judge the other yet expect to not be judged yourself. You cannot understand him if you don't understand yourself. And vice versa. You cannot forgive her, if you do not forgive yourself for the same mistakes. You cannot fake it, you cannot work at it, and you cannot save it. Love is either forever, or never was. If you're truly being honest with yourself, you know deep down which one it is for you. And so does he. Start writing...
By [email protected]5 years ago in Humans
I Stayed
I was with my children's father for eleven years, five of those we were married. He began cheating on me 3 months into our relationship, but I continued to give him chance after chance. I believed his apologies and sorrows for his ways. I thought if I just toughed out his immature days, it would surely improve. I legitimately believed that I could gear his focus to me instead of others and that since we had children it could all work out.
By Christine Hoskin5 years ago in Humans
Five Ways to Work on Your Marriage Instead of Giving up
Had we been childless, I would have left him after the first lie and never looked back. Instead, I decided to forgive and move on. To allow myself to do this, I adopted a “fake it until you make it” attitude.
By Jessica Lynn5 years ago in Humans
10 Cutest Anniversary Gifts for Her
Anniversaries are important events in every couple's life. It gives you a chance to look back over the years you have spent together, sharing ups and downs. Anniversaries often elicit mixed feelings or emotions. Some may celebrate the day having meals together while some may commemorate it treasuring their wedding moments, the day they fell in love with each other, and more. Whatever, form of celebration you take, but one thing that never loses its significance is gifts. They are a unique medium of expressing love which directly goes into the heart of the receiver. So, to make this anniversary memorable pick some anniversary gifts for your wife. But if you are confused about what to get for your sweet little wife, here are some beautiful presents to bang all your woes of anniversary gifts. Let’s have a look.
By Jyoti vedi5 years ago in Humans
How to Avoid Post Wedding Regret
I never was one to imagine my wedding when I was a little girl. I was often much to preoccupied with trying to land an actual significant other to ever think about the details of what it would like to get to the wedding planning process.
By Cara Simon5 years ago in Humans
3 Months Into Their Marriage, Nigerian Woman Stabs Her Husband and You'll Never Believe Why (Photos).
What happened? Marriage is a lifelong commitment taken for better or worse. But what happens when the worse happens way before what anyone can consider to be a ‘lifetime’. What happens when three months into a marriage, one party is being rushed to the hospital because the other part of this blessed union has stabbed him in the neck?
By Jide Okonjo5 years ago in Humans
What Is Marriage and Is It Necessary?
What is Marriage? Let us understand why marriage exists. As a human being, either as a man or a woman, you have certain needs. When you were eight years old, if I had asked you about marriage, the question would not have meant anything to you. If I had asked you when you were fourteen, you might have been a little shy because you were considering. Because your body started growing in a certain way and hormones started infecting your intelligence, you were thinking about it. If I had asked you at eighteen, there would have been a clear "yes" or "no, not now" or "not at all", depending on what happened to you between the ages of fourteen to eighteen.
By The Knowledge 5 years ago in Humans
Storytime: I Told My Nigerian Boss' Wife That He Was Cheating On Her.
This happened a long time ago but it’s such an interesting story I have to share it. In my past life, I used to be a maid – professional maid, paid by a woman who used to run an agency in Lagos. I was assigned to take care of the house of a very nice family, this beautiful young couple with no kids – mid-30s – we'll call them Mr. and Mrs. Spiff.
By Jide Okonjo5 years ago in Humans
Is it Worth it For Me?
It is a common thing for young girls to imagine their dream wedding for when they are older. Usually these fantasies include a big white ballgown and luscious floral decor, a three-tiered cake with bride and groom figurines on top, nonstop dancing, you get the idea. At least, I've been told that these are common daydreams for young girls. My sister had been planning her wedding since grade school, making mental edits with each passing year until she was old enough to create a Pinterest account. Countless pins and mood boards were developed on her own accord to help formulate every last detail for her special day. Her wedding day was in August of 2019–beautiful weather, quick ceremony, and a lovely reception with a view like no other. I'm sure she wouldn't change anything about it. I'm sure it lived up to all the years of imagining, planning, and finalizing.
By Jackie Newberry5 years ago in Humans
