Roast
Love Sucks & Then You Fry 🔥
Pain began each day for him— physical agony undreamed of by mere mortals. It was always the same. 🥱 First, straight out of his snake-ridden dung heap bed, he was flayed alive, his flesh peeled off his hideous body by a series of ingenious rollers and razors. Every inch of his epidermis was meticulously sliced away, unveiling a few billion live nerves. Apish-monsters-with-praying-mantis-heads then pushed, prodded, and poked him, rolling his skinless body in a great dune of salt. When he was pulled screaming from the sodium, he was ran under a lava shower, then entrapped in an absolute zero frost. Chipping him out of the ice block, the monsters also inflicted 666 new stab wounds before he was finally released for duty in Satan's service.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡6 months ago in Humor
Outsourcing Hell. Top Story - May 2025.
Because of Satan’s recent decision to outsource their jobs, a group of rebellious demons found themselves with endless idle time on their hoofs, tentacles, mandibles, and hands. Miserable fiends huddled together in flaming magma, with nothing to do but suffer.
By Lightning Bolt ⚡6 months ago in Humor
My Epic Fail at Yoga Class
Introduction: The Myth of My Flexibility I had always believed yoga was simple. Peaceful breathing, soft music, a few stretches — how hard could it be? Friends swore it changed their lives, improved their posture, and helped them “find inner balance.” I wanted all that. What I didn’t expect was to find myself becoming the accidental comedy act of the entire class.
By Nadeem Shah 6 months ago in Humor
How I Accidentally Became the Office Meme
Introduction: The Day My Dignity Took a Coffee Break They say every office has “that person” — the one who becomes the story everyone retells at lunch. I never thought I’d be that person. I liked blending in, keeping my head down, and letting others be the subject of harmless gossip. But fate had other plans, and it all began with a single, innocent cup of coffee…
By Nadeem Shah 6 months ago in Humor
The Time I Tried to Adult and Failed Miserably
Introduction: Adulthood sounded great in theory. Pay your bills on time, eat healthy, have a clean apartment, maybe even have a plant that survives more than a week. I had visions of this perfect adult life. Reality, however, had other plans. My journey into adulthood began with confidence… and ended with a series of spectacular failures that left me questioning whether I was cut out for this “adulting” thing at all.
By Nadeem Shah 6 months ago in Humor
My Epic Fail at Yoga Class
Introduction: I’ve always considered myself somewhat graceful… well, at least in my own head. So when I decided to join a local yoga class, I imagined serene stretches, deep breaths, and maybe a hint of enlightenment. What actually happened was far less zen and far more… chaotic.
By Nadeem Shah 6 months ago in Humor
How I Accidentally Became the Office Meme
Introduction: It all started with free pizza. Honestly, most of my life’s disasters begin with food. That fateful Friday morning, I strolled into the office kitchen, eyes on the cheesy goodness, completely unaware that my attempt to grab a slice would make me the laughing stock of the office for weeks — and eventually, a meme.
By Nadeem Shah 6 months ago in Humor
