depression

It is not just a matter of feeling sad; discover an honest view of the mental, emotional and physical toll of clinical depression.

Theft of Depression
Depression is like a thief in the night. As if someone broke into my home and robbed me of my happiness. Sometimes it even feels as if I'll never be able to feel joy again. I used to think it was because I wasn't popular or because I didn't have many friends, but as I grew older I realized it was much bigger than that. It was as if a thief had stolen my purse and took off running. I'd try so hard to run after the thief as fast as I could to take back what was mine. My purse. My happiness. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't catch him.
By Sleepless inStLouis7 years ago in Psyche
I Have to Talk to You
While there’s still a considerable stigma attached to having mental illness, I decided to openly talk about my condition to help some people understand a bit of how high-functioning depression affects the ones who suffer from it.
By Ana Perinotto7 years ago in Psyche
Sewer Slide
Much like Hagrid's aversion to saying Voldemort's name, suicide is a hard word to vocalize for me, like something evil you dare not speak into existence. It's not a word that should be glamorized or romanticized and though, "I'm going to kill myself," is probably a catch-phrase that everyone has used in some ironic jest at life. Suicide is in no way humorous. The first time I ever said it, I was 11. As I floated face down in the family pool, I could hear mother's mocking tone to my brother, "Look, she's going to kill herself"—and they kept walking. I survived, clearly, and I understand why she ignored my cry for attention, but what if I had died. Maybe I did. Maybe this life is a reboot. Like Groundhog Day, I'm sure I have lived this life before. I've heard that some Eastern religions believe that if you take your own life, you are destined to repeat it, bound to the same, until you get it right. Only then can your soul grow, to move on toward enlightenment. Well, I'm sure that somewhere along the timeline of my life, or lives past, my end was met by suicide.
By Traci Reason7 years ago in Psyche
What Is Wrong? Why Can't I Know?
I feel as though I am drowning, not in the sea but in myself. And yet it is not even truly me, it is the black sea of depression and I know others are near. I just can’t see them… and it hurts to know that others are near but to still feel completely isolated because I cannot reach them. I wake up and the pain immediately washes over me once again; it hurts so bad and I cannot find the right words to calm my mother’s nerves as I descend deeper into myself. I walk to class, tripping upon my own feet, almost falling with every anxious step. I wish I was falling, in reality not metaphorically, off of a cliff or into the traffic that never seems to stop. I do not want to want to die but I do not believe I have the will or the want of existence anymore. Depression, however, is not a valid excuse to miss my obligations, the reason will not hold up in an academic court or any for that matter unless, of course, insanity is pled. So I stay silent as I drown because I don’t think that there is hope for me any longer… I will feel like this forever.
By Ash 7 years ago in Psyche
Mentally Damaged
Sunflowers make me happy. The brightness of them remind me that there is light in a world so dark. Though your darkness may be a lot different to mine. My mental instability keeps me in the dark. I know that I’m not but I feel pathetic, like I’m worthless and not good. I hurt those around me, especially the ones I love most. Obviously not physically but words hurt, too.
By Becca Kemp7 years ago in Psyche
A Personal Tale of "Millennial Depression"
Growing up, I was a kid who craved attention. Looking back now, as a 26-year-old millennial battling mental illness, I seek to peel back the layers and delve into the question of, “why?” It is indeed an important question to ask, as my seemingly constant need for validation is a large part of the personal struggles I fight daily.
By Olivia Petras7 years ago in Psyche
The Thoughts Inside My Head
As I am sitting here, in my apartment bedroom watching a show on Netflix that I have been binge-watching all day, I can’t help but to feel alone and depressed even though I am not. My thoughts in my head keep me awake at night. I wonder sometimes if I am good enough. Sometimes I am just sad. Not tonight. Tonight I am lost inside my head, but this time I don’t know why I am depressed or what I am thinking. My brain is on, but it’s drawing a blank. It’s running a million miles a minute. I want to get rid of the madness in my head, but I can’t. Nothing can fix what goes on in my brain. Not meds, not therapy, not friends, not family, nothing.
By Sommer Coggins7 years ago in Psyche
What No One Says About Seasonal Depression
*DISCLAIMER: I am in no way a professional of any kind. Information stated below is based on personal experience and might not be applicable to everyone. Please seek professional help if you are experiencing serious mental health issues.*
By Hannah7 years ago in Psyche
Depression or Momentary Sadness?
Trying to differentiate between the two can sometimes be a difficult task. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain while sadness is merely a normal human emotion. Both should be dealt with accordingly, but it’s important to know the difference for your long-term health, both mental and physical. I, myself, am still trying to figure it out. Up until recently, I’ve been in this weird foggy state of mind where everything was just on autopilot and I thought my existence wasn’t crucial to whatever this world has planned for me. It was a dark time... I always put on a smile and helped others with their problems. In my head it was easier to deal with others' problems instead of my own. I was raised in an environment where if I cried I would be told to grow thicker skin or that other people had worse problems. Maybe even that’s why I tried so hard to solve other people’s problems, because I wanted to validate finally dealing with my own. But nonetheless, I went on doing what I was doing. Never shedding a tear. I wanted help, but didn’t want to ask for it until one day my sister—who has severe depression—made a deal with me that if I were to seek help that she would finally seek help. Desperate to help my sister get help, I opened up to my dad and stepmom about what I’ve been feeling. A few days later, I was given vitamins and told to, “Get over it.” That was a definite let down. Not only could I not get help, but now my sister would not get help either.
By Kylene7 years ago in Psyche
6 Things People Don't Think About When It Comes to Depression
According to the World Health Organization, over 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression at some point in their lives. For those of us that have experienced, are currently experiencing, or will experience depression, it’s nice to feel validated by someone other than a therapist. So, here are six things that people don’t think about that feels good to hear.
By Shaley Speaks7 years ago in Psyche
No Reason to Be Depressed
I have ALWAYS struggled with my mental health. Even as a young teenager. Postpartum and circumstance pushed me to the edge, and was in the process of shoving me off. Three years ago someone extended a hand and pulled me back from the edge and into the best hug of my life. From that day forward, everything was extraordinary. Now I don't mean fancy cars or parties in big houses or anything along those lines. I mean he listened to me, he laughed with me, he made me feel safe, and he was everything I didn't have and everything I needed.
By Aleea Whitmire7 years ago in Psyche
The Burden
What it means to be alone? What does that mean for me? It means half my life I had way prettier friends than I was. It means I was often the third or fifth wheel. It means I disappeared from the face of the earth when they were around me. It means boys rarely looked my way. It means that I wanted to kill myself almost everyday. It means my self-esteem was really low at this point. It means I gave up on me. It still means today that I don't like myself. And frankly, I don't know how to change that.
By Singster Jones7 years ago in Psyche