satire

Politicians provide us with all of the comedy gold. We're only mere curators.

President to Apply "Nutritional Facts Labels" to Foreign Countries
January 20th (Washington, D.C.) – As an emotionally drained and exhausted crowd looked on, the freshly installed President revealed the last of ten Executive Orders to kick off the new administration. People who had expected to attend a party celebrating the first independent leader of the free world since George Washington were shocked to find the Inauguration Ceremony cut short and themselves made witness to the President’s irreversible and world-shattering agenda, one that some are calling reckless and dangerous. But not even disarming America’s nuclear capabilities, pulling troops out of strategic locations around the world, or letting terrorists run free were as thoughtless and perilous as what happened with this final Executive Order.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Brazil
Brazil is the largest country in South America and the fifth largest country in the world by area. It is located in the tropics, and its climate is hot and humid. The country has a population of over 210 million people, making it the fifth most populous country in the world. Brazil is a federal republic, and its capital is Brasília.
By Nouman Yousaf3 years ago in The Swamp
Full Citizenship Extended to American "Nationals"
January 20th (Pago Pago, American Samoa) – “While the territories of the United States debate whether they wish to be a State or not,” the President demurred, “I, unfortunately, cannot grant them the full Constitutional rights to which they are entitled due to the Supreme Court finding again and again that only some rights apply to the outlying possessions of the United States.”
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Race to the 51st State: Puerto Rico vs. D.C. vs. Everywhere Else
January 20th (San Juan, Puerto Rico) – Since the time of Christopher Columbus, the island-territory now known as Puerto Rico has never been independent and free. For hundreds of years, it remained a Spanish colony until the United States “liberated” it in 1898. After that, it endured as a territory of the United States federal government despite multiple attempts to change the status quo in any number of ways. Yet, perhaps it is different this time and Puerto Rico really will finally become a State, or sail off as its own sovereign nation.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Calling Moscow - 13
This conversation happened on May 3, 2023, after a drone exploded above the dome of the Senate Palace in the Kremlin. “Hello, Vlad?”
By Lana V Lynx3 years ago in The Swamp
After Bulldozing Internationalism, President Announces "New Manifest Destiny"
January 20th (Cape Alava, WA) – Manifest Destiny. These two words elicit a strong response in the American psyche. Depending upon the person, this may bring feelings of exceptionalism; that the United States had—perhaps through divine providence—a mission to spread democratic ideals from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific, and to keep European empires out of these lands. For those people already living in the path of the expansionists, it was seen as a racist landgrab that displaced and killed millions, paving the way for a uniquely American territorial empire that denied freedoms to most and is still in existence today.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Russian aluminum billionaire hounded by FBI, regularly blogs about the death of the U.S. dollar
Russian billionaire Oleg Deripaska, according to Forbes magazine, with a fortune of 2.6 billion USD in 2023, regularly writes on his own blog about the death of the US dollar, the collapse of the US financial system and asshole executives in Washington.
By Robert Waldo3 years ago in The Swamp
Allies Protest Recall of American Troops
January 20th (Ramstein Air Base, Germany) – The United States of America has not declared war on anyone since June 4, 1942 when Congress made such a statement against Axis partners Bulgaria, Hungary, and Romania during World War II.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Moscow's Calling - 8
This conversation took place on April 21, 2023 “Hello, Donnie?” “Yes! Vlad! You’re calling me! First! That hasn’t happened in a long time! Like, in ages!”
By Lana V Lynx3 years ago in The Swamp
United States Set to Leave and Abolish United Nations
January 20th (New York City, NY) – The dream of President Franklin D. Roosevelt to have a multinational organization that would ensure “life, liberty, independence, and religious freedom, and to preserve the rights of man and justice” is now dead.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Fears Mount over Unilateral Nuclear Disarmament
January 20th (Chicago, IL) – Perhaps for the first time since 2010 and reversing the nearly continuous downward spiral that began in 1995, the Doomsday Clock to nuclear disaster may be ticking backwards.
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp
Native Americans React to New Presidential Order
January 20th (Tahlequah, OK) – It has taken the entire history of the United States of America, but at long last a President has unequivocally apologized out loud to the indigenous people of these lands. The explicit apology follows much earlier ones to native Hawai’ians for overthrowing their kingdom, Black people for slavery, Japanese Americans for unjustly imprisoning them in internment camps during World War II, and others. Despite a resolution passed by Congress and signed by then-President Barack Obama in December 2009, no public declaration had ever been made before. According to Robert Longley of ThoughtCo (Longley, Robert. "U.S. Apology to Native Americans." ThoughtCo, Dec. 15, 2020, thoughtco.com /the-us-apologized-to-native-americans-3974561.):
By J.P. Prag3 years ago in The Swamp