Nonfiction
How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying.... Content Warning.
My first few years living with Wade were not all awful of course because that is how I got blinded and eventually silenced unbeknownst to me at first. Each and every day was a different day and I learned over the years to watch Wade's body language and to pick up little hints and signs based off what was happening in our lives as to when I could and could not tell him something or what I could and could not say. I knew better and the children knew better than to bother dad right after he woke up as he required at least thirty minutes to an hour before you were allowed to ask any questions or request anything for the day from him. I mean most everyone is a little grumpy when they first wake up but Wade would simply start yelling at you if asked the wrong thing at the wrong time. After that though things were good. At first, Wade helped me around the house and made all the boys listen to me and we all worked together as a team. He told them to respect me because I was their mother/step mother. Wade knew that my love language is acts of service so he would help around the house as much as possible and he doted on my daughter all the time. He was so enthralled with her but he wouldn't take her anywhere with him alone until she was older perhaps around 4 because he always said he wouldn't be able to take care of a baby while out running errands. This always irritated me because I mean I took care of her while doing virtually everything everyday but he always made the excuse that he wasn't good with little kids by himself and he'd told me this from the start so I had no right to be mad. In the very beginning, it started being obvious that although I had a job I could tell that he liked me being home to take care of the house and the kids. I explained to him several times that for one being home all the time made me depressed and that I was a better mother with a job and also that we simply couldn't afford it. I did keep a job throughout our marriage but it always seemed to be something that caused a chip on his shoulder. At first, it seemed he didn't even like me going to hang out with family or friends but I made it clear that I would be going to see my family at least every other week as we had a standing meeting at my grandma's every other Saturday and I was and am very close with my father. He finally gave in a little concerning this but there was a time where I literally went 2 years not speaking to my two very best friends, my sisters because of various reasons but now I can see that one was because he wanted me isolated. I was to care for him, NJ, LJ, AJ and Rayne all day everyday and never focus on anyone else. Although, when we were out and about at a retail store or somewhere he'd always tell me that I never bought anything for myself and I should get something for myself, I always thought of everyone but me, I was so selfless... He was also always sure to tell me everyday that he loved me and that I was beautiful. He loved Rayne so much that he called her his daughter, said that since he had come along while I was still pregnant it was almost like he'd had a hand in helping "make" her and he felt like she was his. He even teared up when he came to see her for the first time after her birth. He even adopted her in 2018 although we both agreed that was the best thing to do we felt and at first Wade seemed excited to adopt Rayne when it came time to he did seem to drag his feet a bit. I wanted to get it done before she went to school so she would learn the right name to write down and although initially it had been his idea as much as mine for him to adopt her suddenly it seemed like "Well, what's the hurry?" but he did go through with it anyway. I now of course regret this decision but you live and you learn. My little Rayne was very sick during the first six months or so of her life and honestly she didn't have a good immune system for the first couple of years of her life and Wade was always supportive of all the time I had to take off work to be with her. However, he never wanted to take off time from his job to stay with her. He claimed it was because he made more so it made more sense for us to lose time from my job where I made less versus his where we could lose potentially more money from him not being there. Anytime I got upset about something or claimed something was unfair I was always told I was just being emotional or not looking at things from his perspective. I was dramatic and although he didn't say it you could tell that every time I cried he found it distasteful and unnecessary. He sometimes would even roll his eyes and say, "Again?" It got to where he did this with my daughter Rayne as well because as it turned out she was quite "emotional" too just like her mother. It became clear after a few years that I was there mostly to be a good wife and raise the children and that was my main purpose according to him. The boys NJ, LJ and I took time forming our bond as they were quite different from my son AJ as far as personality goes but eventually I grew to love those boys as my own. How could I not? Those boys had a rough childhood and it was just the beginning unfortunately. They had seen their mother with different men cheating on their father from what I'd been told, they'd been exposed to all their father's different girlfriends and apparently the party scene quite a bit. Granted, my father had had a few different girlfriends while I was growing up as well but if Wade was moving in with different ones that wasn't stable for the boys and these boys were clingy and wanting affection when I first came into the picture. They needed some TLC and in a bad way. They wanted and craved stability. NJ was such a sweet, good hearted loving child who loved to make people laugh and that boy loved and still does his dad. He has always idolized his dad and that was very obvious from the start. LJ was a rough and roughty child who liked to break everything in his path just to see how it worked. It wasn't that he was a bad child by any means, in fact LJ is one of the sweetest children you'll ever meet but he had no respect for other people's things. I'm not sure if that's because no one ever respected him and his things but because of this behavior it made our bond a little slow to come by but his sweet and caring nature eventually won me over. Not to mention, when Wade and myself got together LJ wanted to go with me everywhere I went. If I was going to my grandma's he came too, the gas station, he hopped in the car. It didn't matter where, LJ was coming with me. I took to calling him my little buddy. Over time, all this turned darker as did everything. NJ started ratting out anything he found to be unacceptable said by myself or my son AJ to Wade and we would literally get into trouble. It would stir up drama and fights within the family. I would get angry that NJ was doing this and Wade would get mad at AJ or myself for whatever lies or twisted words were said about us. It was Wade and his boys against myself and AJ. Wade was constantly trying to get AJ into trouble. I remember a couple of different occasions for reference. Once, Wade wanted AJ to get punished because he said he found my ex's name scribbled on the bathroom wall. His theory was who else in the house would do that? I now, looking back, think Wade did that to set AJ up. I don't remember fully but I don't believe I punished AJ for this but I did question him and I thought at the time that maybe he just missed his dad and that's why he did it. It never occurred to me that Wade would lie about something like that. Second occurrence, I was laying in bed one night and Wade came in there and said that AJ was "throwing ice all over the floor in the kitchen". Now, my son is like his dad and loves to eat just shaved ice so I told Wade that it was probably just accidental and he was making shaved ice and would pick it up when he got done. However, Wade insisted that "No, he's literally taking ice out of the ice bin and throwing it on the floor." Confused as to why he would do that I went and asked AJ about it and he claimed that no, he wasn't doing that. I looked and there was no ice on the floor except maybe one or two pieces. I told AJ to get those when he got done and went back to bed. It was always something like that. It was like Wade was out to get AJ and the only reason I could figure was because of Wade's insane jealousy for my ex and the fact that AJ acted so much like his dad. Wade mocked my ex constantly and even in front of AJ which made him very upset and he would get his boys to join in on the mockery. I will admit that I joined in occasionally but not to the extent that Wade went to and I do regret my part in that now as I see how it affected my son. That was not fair and I realize it was a way for Wade to demean my son and his father. LJ eventually started believing his father's lies somewhat and lost any respect he had for me. He wouldn't listen and neither did NJ to a thing I told them to do. They both argued constantly and LJ took to destroying mine and my son AJ's things or stealing them behind our backs and then lying about it. They never once got punished for the lying or the stealing as it "couldn't be proven." LJ would steal things from my son and take the items to his mother's house so seemingly it had just gotten misplaced or disappeared. At one point, since Wade preferred to work nights it was my job to get the children up and to school in the morning because they were all living with us full time and NJ was having trouble getting up in the mornings. He made us all late a few mornings in a row and one in particular he claimed that he couldn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes. By this point, he was a teenager and responsible for washing his own clothes which he knew. He'd gotten up too late to take his shower which he insisted he take only in the mornings and he was mad at me because I had told him to just get some clothes on and come on. I told him to call his dad since he was trying to get out of school even though Wade was at work I felt this was something Wade needed to be called in on since he was giving me such trouble and arguing so much. Wade got angry with me because I'd told NJ to call him at work and literally asked him, "And why are you calling me about this? While I'm at work?" To which NJ replied, " Because she told me to call." as if I was the biggest idiot on the planet. Wade was ultimately just a big bully and even admitted to me that he had been that in school but that he'd changed his ways. It took me so long, too long to realize that he really hadn't changed at all. I'd say around the year 2019 to 2020 is when things really started to change for me and my eyes started to open. That's when the abuse picked up. The more awake I became, the angrier he got.
By Lindsey Altom2 years ago in Chapters
Unmasking Mars
Mars, our enigmatic neighboring planet, has long been a source of fascination and intrigue. While the red planet may seem barren and desolate, it harbors a multitude of mysteries waiting to be uncovered. From angelic sculptures to floating spoons, Mars has shown us some bewildering sights that defy explanation. In this article, we'll delve into the curious phenomenon of pareidolia and the strange discoveries that have captured our imagination on the Martian surface.
By Qandil fatima2 years ago in Chapters
Lost in Space for 311 Days
Have you ever imagined what it would be like to venture into outer space? For most of us, the idea of becoming an astronaut is a childhood dream, filled with wonder and excitement. However, the story of Sergei Krikalev, a real-life cosmonaut, takes us on a thrilling and sometimes harrowing journey through the collapse of nations and into the realm of time travel itself. Join us as we explore the incredible tale of the astronaut who found himself lost in space for 311 lonely days.
By Qandil fatima2 years ago in Chapters
How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying.... Content Warning.
In October of 2014 my daughter was born and Wade immediately took over as her father. My ex husband was sort of in and out of his son's life at first and it took the first couple of years after the divorce for him to really get it together so to speak and establish a solid routine with his son. By this time, Wade and myself had married and he had well established himself as my daughter Rayne's father. To back up a little, we married in April of 2015 just 8 short months after initially starting to date. There was pressure from Wade to marry and my family as my family is very conservative Christians and thought it best if we were to live together we needed to be married. In all honesty, I was not ready and I knew then that I was not ready for another marriage but with the pressure from my family and Wade who would even say things along the lines of "Baby, you better put a ring on it." making a reference to the song Single Ladies by Beyoncé. He was joking when he said it but he was also not joking and you could tell that. He proposed to me in November of 2014 which also incidentally was the same month in which my wedding anniversary had been with my first husband. He did so in my grandma's kitchen in front of my grandma so I felt pressured to say yes. I felt I had no choice to take things slow, it was either marry him or lose my house and him. I didn't like either of those choices really but I chose the one that seemed less scary at the time. I knew that I wanted to marry Wade probably, one day, I just wasn't quite ready then but what was the difference between then and a few months and/or a year down the road right? By the time we wed there were already cracks in our foundation but I chose not to see them. He constantly was jealous and told me that I brought up my past too much with my ex husband and that he was afraid I'd never love him as much as I'd loved my ex. Because of this jealousy which I didn't even realize was full on jealousy at the time, I soon became not allowed to speak of my ex in his presence. If I did, it was met with a death glare and very judging eyes. I would be told that I compared everything he did to my ex and that that was not fair to him. I'm not saying that this didn't occur on occasion I'm just simply stating what I lived through all the time, no matter the situation. Also, he did speak of his ex and brought things he'd lived through with her into our relationship frequently. There are certain things I cannot remember and certain things I can and there are things that no longer have a timeline in my mind's eye but simply a tainted memory of things lived through and things learned so I apologize if this comes as a bit scattered at times. I remember when we first got together and started fighting although it did take a few weeks for this to happen that I would have to go to the bathroom to get away from him. I remember I told my co-worker Sue this and she asked if I was okay? I remember thinking "Well, yeah, why wouldn't I be? Wait, should I be worried?". I told her I was fine that he just got a little insistent when arguing and didn't like to let things go so I had to separate myself. Also, there was the other time a local customer who knew of Wade warned me that he had a "temper" and to "be careful". I chalked it up to him just being nosey and it being a small town. I do remember bringing this incident with the customer up to Wade though and I asked Wade what the customer could have meant by that and Wade turned the question around on me by asking me "Well, what do you think he meant?" We then just laughed it off as a nosey customer. Speaking on the jealousy again, I remember one time I was texting back and forth between my granny and my daddy and I had left my phone on the charger on the seat of his truck to go inside for a minute and there was one or two things that they had said which he glanced at my phone and thought he saw, I honestly can't even remember what it was but it got Wade to thinking I was cheating on him and demanded I let him see my phone when I got back outside. I did but he thought I had deleted the message by then and didn't believe me. Also, once, we had just gotten through making love and I noticed that I had a text from a male customer of mine that had been trying to help me get a job. I went to see what the text was and to text him back and Wade went crazy on me saying that I was being disrespectful to him since we had just made love and I tried to explain that it was job related but he wouldn't hear it. To him, I was texting a potential lover right after making love to him and it was a slap in the face he said. So, hopefully all this gives you some context and I'll try to get back to the storyline now. Wade had a problem with addiction to cover up what had happened in his childhood. He used work as a coverup as he was and is still I'm sure a workaholic, he drank too much, he used pills and other substances. When we first got together, Wade told me that he had had a horrible car accident in his early 20's which caused him to have severe back troubles and shortly after that he got hooked on prescription pain medication. He told me that he was off those finally from his own free will because he looked at his boys one day and realized he wanted better for them. So, he told me that's why he drank some to help ebb that addiction. I thought that was so amazing that he could just stop the pills cold turkey like that for his boys. I truly admired him for that. What it took me a few years to realize was that he still was battling addiction just using a different poison....
By Lindsey Altom2 years ago in Chapters
How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying.... Content Warning.
My divorce with my first husband was final in August 2014 and by the time I got the divorce papers in the mail I had already been dating Wade 2 weeks. I remember I was so happy to get that paperwork in the mail that my pregnant self ran across the yard to give Wade a hug and kiss when I got them. The paperwork meant that I was officially legally divorced and could be with Wade. I wish to God I had opened my eyes a little wider to see the red flags that were already looming over an overcast sky. The funny thing is that I thought I was keeping a good outsider's perspective. Everyone around me was just happy I was happy and Wade was a hard worker so he made enough money for me to be able to keep my house. It was convenient really because when I met Wade he told me he had just gotten out of an awful long term relationship where his ex girlfriend was crazy and then of course there was that brief fling with K from my work but he said that he and his boys were living with his mother and step father and he was about to be looking for another place to live anyway and since I was having trouble figuring out how to pay for my house it made perfect sense we both figured for him to move in permanently. Soon, the what should have been red flags started to emerge. Well, they already had had I known to see them or had I not been so blinded by his passion and attention that I somehow couldn't see them. As it turned out, Wade had a lot of crazy exes. His ex wife and mother to his boys and he used to have crazy knock down drag out fights that he hoped to never repeat. He said they would throw things at each other, yell, scream, punch walls, push each other, etc. She was crazy though and she couldn't keep her hands off the men. He was a truck driver for the most part that's how Wade made his living and he said when he was married to her he traveled across country and he would get calls that she had other men at their home. He described in detail to me how bad her sex addiction was and how it destroyed their marriage. Then, there was the last long term relationship he'd had shortly before me with Amy we'll call her. He said Amy was always trying to force marriage on him and even bought them wedding bands. He said that Amy lived with most of her family though and that her and her family was crazy. He said that they'd talk about crazy things and get drunk and high all the time and he got so tired of living that life. Wade said it got to a point where he and his boys were scared to stay there and one night while Amy was ranting and raving about something he got a few clothes for him and his boys and got them out of there. Because of this incident though, it left Wade with pretty much nothing to his name. They had no beds, no toys for the boys, no possessions except a few clothes. Also, to top it all off he said that Amy still wanted him and still asked people about him and what he was doing nowadays. It was crazy. Then, there was this other girl that was one of his exes named Jin and she worked at the Dollar store in town and I was told who she was and what she looked like because she wanted him back too and if she found out that he and I were together she would probably try to cause me trouble. He wanted me to know this he said so I could keep myself safe and be aware of these situations. Are you seeing the red flags yet? I wasn't. I just thought, "Wow, what a troubled past this poor man has had and what a string of crazy exes. Good grief. I don't want that drama and they won't be starting anything with me." There was one thing that Wade never opened up to me much about though and that was his childhood. He always told me that he would in due time but that time never really came. Sure, over the years and with some coaxing I managed to piece a few things together but what I knew for sure was that his biological father was a nightmare and Wade didn't want to be anything like him. He said that his step father who we'll call S had come into his life in his late pre-teen years and raised him to be a good man. He idolized S and thought I suppose that every boy needed that in his life. My son was six years old and was going through the worst time in his life what with his parents divorcing and now this new guy had moved in and yet Wade for some reason thought he needed saving and some structure I suppose. Wade's motto was always something along the lines of shit happens, stuff it in a box, shut up and get over it. It seemed everything my son AJ did was the wrong thing in Wade's eyes and he kept trying to set him straight. I was told every time I stuck up for AJ that I babied him too much and that I was favoring him over Wade's two boys. I tried hard to accept NJ and LJ as my own but with the situation with my son starting pretty much right off the bat I immedietly set up resentments. It was in fact, a recipe for disaster but at the time I told myself "Well, Wade isn't the only one that says I spoil AJ so maybe I do need to buckle down a little. Maybe there is a happy medium in this somewhere because other than the children and parenting disagreements Wade and I are great with each other." I tried still even though I knew deep down I was failing my son in certain ways to please not only Wade but my son. I wanted the best of both worlds. I wanted us all to be one big happy family and I just knew it was possible right?
By Lindsey Altom2 years ago in Chapters
Morals of the Story
Toastmasters International is a group devoted to increasing communication skills, boosting the confidence of people learning to hone their public speaking skills. Meetings emphasize both listening and speaking skills, and newcomers work through lessons to assist them in creating their speeches.
By Judey Kalchik 2 years ago in Chapters
Messages From the Universe 🥹
I just had one of the most spiritually incredible days of my life. I can’t share the whole story until I am safely off this island… because I have to protect myself… let me just cut to end. The story start to finish would have a much more impressive impact but (safety first).
By Kayleigh Fraser ✨2 years ago in Chapters
Road to Admittance. Content Warning.
It takes a lot for a person to admit they need help and for me, it took me to lose everything I knew to finally admit to myself that I needed help. I purposely pretended to be fine, denied others reasoning to be concerned and refused to seek help because I selfishly didn't want it. I isolated myself because deep down, I knew nobody around me would be able to understand exactly how I felt. The pain in my chest and my suppressed anger, hurt and confusion all joined up together and made my thoughts become somebody I didn't recognize and often feared. My best friends, Trinity and Briana, knew I was getting worse every time the school bell rang and I had to make my way back home. They knew I had finally given up fighting my depression for my sexual abuse and my mother’s neglect; 5 years was too long to keep trying after the 9 years of abuse. And unfortunately there wasn't much they could do when they looked into my eyes and didn't see the real me anymore as I told them “ I’m okay guys. I’m used to it. Go home, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Reluctantly, we would turn away from each other and walk away and I knew they knew the whispered “ Maybe ” came uttering from my mouth causing unshed tears to gather in our eyes. The sinister me was waiting to welcome me in its arms as soon as I walked in my home and trudged up the steps to the sanctuary of my room. My mental health was in shambles but I wasn't going to admit that to anyone, even myself. It wasn’t until I was alone in a hospital room where everything changed for me.
By Yvonaé Dessus2 years ago in Chapters
Time
I had two choices: Cry a bit longer and risk the whites of my eyes and puffiness around not having enough time to go back to normal, or push the feelings aside and try to focus on something else. The former would have made sense. I had about 20 minutes until my clients would arrive - 5 more minutes to cry, 5 minutes to fix my makeup and 10 minutes to put the mask back on, with its painted smile across it.
By Sabrina Rupolo2 years ago in Chapters
Heimgang . Runner-Up in Chapters Challenge.
Outside of my front door and across the valley there are three castles each on their own mountain top. I'm living in an old railroad station and the train still runs in front of my house. There is a small road that connects the two closest towns. They are a kilometer in either direction. I am allowed to run all the way to the end of the dirt road where there is a giant buckeye tree. The farmer piles his hay underneath it and when I climb the very top I can almost touch the lowest branches of the tree. There are wheat fields all around my house and I am just tall enough to look over the grass. I love plucking the green and unripe seeds out of the field. They taste sweet. I have a giant backyard and my favorite spot is in the top of the cherry tree that leans just over the fence.
By Adelheid West 2 years ago in Chapters
