Word of the Day: 付け合わせ

I woke up too late for my appointment. I didn't set a timer but, I also didn't remember that it was at freaking 8 am.

I made a video for Youtube explaining my 180 degree change of mood. I really think it was just that it was my mom's birthday sort of mentally dragging me down. Since it was my birthday time when I decided not to talk to her anymore. It has been a month then... It doesn't feel like it has been a month. Well a month and 10 days.

I did send her a birthday text. She didn't reply. I am glad. It was just out of curtesy. I think she understood that, and I am glad.

As soon as the clock turn to midnight, it was like all my energy returned to me. My depression and anxiety completely disappeared. I don't know if it is because of my mom's birthday or because I had an appointment today.

I am thinking about what to eat today because I didn't order my food on Amazon like I wanted to last night. I was going to buy a bunch of self preservable food because I don't want to pay to turn the refrigerator back on. But even if I were to order it now it would take a few days which is making me think I need to just order something on Doordash from a local grocery store. I think either way, I don't want to cook anymore. It makes me sad because I like to cook.

I am not the best cook but I am a decent cook. Especially if I am following a recipe, of course. I mostly know how to cook Japanese/Asian food and more concerned with that palette. I guess I just got used to it. It isn't even that I necessary want it more than other food, I just have the most confidence cooking Japanese food.. I love making Japanese breakfast. When I see a good bloom in the miso soup, I am pleased. I like to make more katame rice ( basically "al dente", I am not a super fan of soggy rice, but good grain can even make a rice porridge good. ) I don't need measuring cups, I can make it in a pot.. all that... Mm I don't have a gas stove so, I don't think I can get the right char on the fish, but I am familar enough with saba ( mackerel ) and Shake ( Salmon ). Japanese love very... uncomplicated flavors for the more traditional stuff. You're supposed to enjoy the quality of the ingredients and the subtly of technique.

I guess Korean might be another one. I have made stuff like japchae, pajeong, bibimbap, but these aren't hard anyway. I am sure there is more complicated foods in the cuisine. I guess we can say that of any culinary region.

I do like... enjoying and analyzing my food. Also I think at least I have that sort of chef heart of considering other people's sensibilities when making food. Like, if I give you food, it is because I thought about you. I think this is typical of anyone who enjoys eating.

When I watch reels, I can kind of taste it when I know the ingredients. I also like when they explain what is the desired texture/consistency.

This is why, even though I have made pajeong several times, I will not say those were successes. Yes they were tasty, but it wasn't "pajeong"

If I think about it, I never gave Mapo Tofu a real go. I have always hamburger helper'd so, even though I make it a lot ( it is so easy and so protein ) I feel like I could make that better if I did everything from scratch.

I drove Yuuichirou crazy because I would get frustrated with my skills and throw out a whole pot of food if I "messed it up too much". Like I rather throw away or eat the bad food myself than give it to someone else.

End of my word requirement. Going to continue in a new story now.