Humor
Walrusses vs Walri
"Broke Stick Billy! Let me stop you right there. There is a reason I nicknamed you that, it's because like a broken stick in hockey you can't play. We let you join the league every year because we need to fill a roster spot. I even drafted you this year and gave you a shot. But now you are a traitor and basically dead to me." Mediocre
By Scott McGuire 5 years ago in Fiction
Cheeseburger Romance
Tom sat alone at the tall bar table. His feet dangled from the stool. He fidgeted with the cloth napkin surrounding his silverware. Waiting. Every few seconds his eyes would dart between the entryway, the napkin and his phone. She was running late. Not too late but late enough to let some worry creep into his mind. He felt the eyes of the room closing in on him. He did his best to ignore it but their whispers were getting louder in his head. Look at him. So pathetic. He got stood up. Of course he got stood up, look at him. He’s so sweaty. His pit stains are soaking through his jacket. What a loser.
By Jake Hartline5 years ago in Fiction
The smell of winter.
Somewhere near the edge of a frozen pond... "You look like you’re having a lot of fun skating around on the frozen pond rabbit. Just love those pirouettes. You are so nimble the way you move on the ice, like a real snow fairy. I wish that I could move with such perfect grace.”
By Russell Ormsby 5 years ago in Fiction
Macbeth Demands a Recount
Macbeth, recently defeated and beheaded at the hands of Macduff, duly arrived on the bank of the River Styx to be rowed across to Hades by Charon the ferryman. However, he proved to be a reluctant passenger, not least because he saw no reason to give the infernal boatman his usual fee.
By John Welford5 years ago in Fiction
The Grass is Greener on the other side of the lawn! Dear Gardner, please come along !
Dear Gardner, Just an URGENT note before I get finally wrung under the menaces of the forage machines and bear the heaviest burden of getting totally transformed. The situation is far more serious than the feelings that come with getting united with a long lost family, and in such passings, all the effects of filial associations changed —and lead into a situation of —“fully gone.” Drawn on canvases,previously, my pictures used to be so clear and so strong. And now, with the extreme summer taking it’s toll, the heat is making me tumble down, and in entirety, I may soon turn into a mausoleum tomb.
By Madhu Goteti 5 years ago in Fiction
Aliens or Cops?
Meet dumbass Darius. That’s my nickname for him because he’s always doing something foolish and there’s no other explanation than being a dumbass. For example, we have been planning this heist for months and by we, I mean, Darius, Domino, and myself, Rico. And of course, dumbass Darius messes up something! Me and Domino have been friends since diapers, I taught him how to potty train, even though when you ask him, he claims it’s the other way around. We became friends with Darius when he moved to Flatbush in middle school. We saw he was about to get his ass jumped right outside the park and we decided to help him. We found out the reason for the almost ass whooping was over a girl. We saved him that day and have been saving him ever since.
By Christina DeFeo5 years ago in Fiction
The Orderly Eater Manifesto
Hey howdy hey, all! It has become fairly evident to me that I should… nay, must… defend myself. Not against lawsuits, or beagles, or evil hot dog vendors wielding nuclear mustard (after all, an evil hot dog vendor would… relish… that). I must defend myself against those that do not understand the ways of the Orderly Eater. We Orderly Eaters are a misunderstood lot, mocked openly and harshly by Chaotic Eaters who choose to eat that which is on their plate in total randominity. Is randominity a word? I kinda like it. I digress.
By Lloyd Farley5 years ago in Fiction
