Satire

Manual for your New Human Child
Congratulations. Today, you have come into possession of your very own human child. Please read the manual carefully to ensure you do not damage your product and void your warranty.
By Emily McGuff2 months ago in Fiction
How To Write About Another
1) Determine the individual’s position in your life, whether or not they are actively in it. Preferably, be confident that they will be in that position for the foreseeable future.
By Ariana GonBon2 months ago in Fiction
Your New Perfect Boyfriend™
ENKITECH Designing Perfect Humans for Perfect Futures [Alt text: Three 2026 models of the Enkitech Perfect Boyfriend™ (Javier, Isaiah, and Heath) stand in a brightly lit room. Each model appears tall and muscular, is clean shaven, smiling, exposing straight, white teeth. From left to right: Model Javier has golden brown skin, dark brown eyes, jet black, wavy hair that is combed back from his forehead and wears a gray cardigan over a white v-neck t-shirt and black trousers. Javier has one hand tucked into his pocket, and one hand smoothing his hair. Model Isaiah has dark brown skin, green-gray eyes, close-cropped dark brown hair and wears a navy blazer over a partially unbuttoned cream linen shirt tucked into wide-leg trousers. Isaiah tugs at the lapels of his jacket. Model Heath has fair skin, dark blue eyes, reddish-brown hair that is parted and combed to the side and wears a plaid button down shirt tucked into fitted jeans. Heath holds his hands up, fingers touching, in a generally-recognized gesture of gratitude. This image has been ai-enhanced.]
By Kailey Haider2 months ago in Fiction
Penicillin
“Now dear friends, come close, come hither! Listen at my altar and you’ll be blessed forever! Good you’re all here. Post a pic or a missive. I’d hate for your neighbors to see you missin’.
By Matthew J. Fromm2 months ago in Fiction
A Practical Manual for Accountability. Winner in Instructions Included Challenge.
This manual exists because something already went wrong. If you are reading this, it is likely because You caused harm and tried to minimize it.
By Cadma2 months ago in Fiction
Smelly Neighbor
To the Community: In response to complaints from other businesses and residents about our company, we want to address these concerns.
By Andrea Corwin 2 months ago in Fiction
How to 'Go Down a Rabbit Hole'
How-to 'Go Down a Rabbit Hole' Ask yourself: are you putting off anything you could be doing right now? - Maybe a little more productive? Any cottage task, such as washing leftover potion from the cauldron, or finally getting around to dusting the vacant cobwebs? If you’re reading this, one could assume you’re not ready to burst your procrastination bubble. No one is here to stop you, nay, you'll only find encouragement, unless you’re mortally wounded- don't ignore that - find your nearest healer. First rule of this guideline.
By Nikki Torino Wagner2 months ago in Fiction
Shimmering with golden light
As the dragon slept, Jason climbed the tree and snatched the ram skin from the branch. Shielding his eyes from the blinding glow, he quickly descended, the golden radiance illuminating the dark grove like a rising sun.
By Raymond G. Taylor2 months ago in Fiction
Becoming British in Seven Simple Steps. Top Story - January 2026.
Before you can become British, you are required to follow the instructions on this page. You are free to fill in the full 127-page form at your leisure, your discretion, or within 1 calendar day, whichever is the sooner.
By Ian Vince2 months ago in Fiction
The Simple Guide to Being Human
Is becoming a human your life long dream? You've come to the right place. Thank you for purchasing this guide and we hope you enjoy your journey as you make your way through these steps.
By Krysta Dawn2 months ago in Fiction
Secrets to being a mathematician
So you want to be a mathematician. Some say that being a mathematician is hard, but I would have to say that being a mathematician is quite simple-- peasy, even; once you get the hang of it. All you need to do is start off with is a bunch of numbered cards, have a somewhat basic knowledge of your digits, a little bit of rememberization skills, a reliable helper, and a cape. One with a bit of dazzle, if you can find it. (This has helped me perform tremendously.)
By M. Lee2 months ago in Fiction
Anyone Can Become the President of the United States. Content Warning.
Preface – Recently, I saw an international news broadcast where a collection of grade school-aged kids were asked the question, “What steps would you have to take to become the President of the United States?” Based on the results of past Presidential elections in America and the endless barrage of chaos so witlessly (or perhaps purposefully) produced by the winners of those elections, it is safe to say that, “In the United States of America, it is possible for absolutely anyone to become the President!” Deploying the formula that certain leaders of that country appear to have used, I have put together a totally fictional instruction manual suitable for use by anyone who aspires to be the next (or any future) President. What I mean to say is, “If this guy or that guy was actually elected, then maybe these measures and practices, characteristics and behaviors really could work for anyone!!” Please realize also that this, being a fictional piece, any and all statements made and which appear to be references to actual people are purely coincidental. No such references are intended.
By John Oliver Smith2 months ago in Fiction