Satire
The Art of Caregiving. Honorable Mention in Instructions Included Challenge.
Step 1: Patience is a Virtue Your loved one may be in a bad mood, driven by frustration, pain, or depression at being in their current state. This is normal, and expected. As their caregiver, it is up to you to boost their morale, which can be done with positive affirmations and/or physical gestures of love; e.g. hand holding, back rubbing, showering with praise. Note: keep in mind that too much praise can be detrimental. The path to healing has no participation awards, and there are times when a firm yet gentle hand is needed. These occasions may coincide with doling out medication, feeding, and attempts to foster independence. If you have the luxury of being in a hospital/institutional setting, extending patience to the facility's staff is a must. They cannot be everywhere at once, and there are other patients on their rotation besides your loved one. In rare cases where staff members seem especially inattentive, it is considered polite to refrain from wringing necks and spouting verbal abuse. The general rule of thumb is the kinder you treat the staff, the friendlier and more helpful they will be to your loved one in return. This is harder to achieve for many people in a caregiver role, but over time the self-inflicted wounds from chewing one's own tongue to hamburger will heal given sufficient time. Your patience and nerve will be tested at all times. It is of vital import that you remain calm, supportive, and flexible, so that you can cater to whatever needs your loved one may have. Additional restraint may be required if your patience is repeatedly taxed, and not met with the appreciation you feel is deserved. Overall, however, the bulk of your patience will usually be rewarded.
By Natalie Gray2 months ago in Fiction
Instructions for Returning to a Place That No Longer Exists. Runner-Up in Instructions Included Challenge.
I. Purpose of This Document These instructions exist because return has been explicitly requested. Please note that they are not an endorsement of the request, nor should their existence be interpreted as confirmation that return is advisable, safe, or even possible in any way commonly understood. This document addresses procedure only.
By Shannon Hilson2 months ago in Fiction
Thank You for Your Patience
The first announcement thanked us for our patience. It explained that there had been a minor incident and that emergency services were responding accordingly. We were advised to remain indoors, avoid unnecessary travel, and continue normal activities where possible.
By Courtney Jones2 months ago in Fiction
How to be a Good Citizen
The following guidance has been prepared by the United States government for all citizens in the wake of an uptick in domestic terrorism in the Midwest. The President and his Cabinet have heard of widespread safety concerns caused by these incidents, and they would like to reassure the American people that ICE and the military are prioritizing your safety as Americans above all else.
By Kay Husnick2 months ago in Fiction
Unfinished
Once upon a time, not so long ago, in a kingdom full of bright green meadows and sprawling, densely packed forestry. Smaller villages and towns lined the rough roads that intertwined towards the castle. All roads indeed led to Castle Muckle Glaikit. The proud Unbarmherzig royal family had inhabited the castle for many centuries. Although generally well liked, King Eroberer, Queen Eitel, and their children—Prince Tumb and Princess Verderblich—were respected accordingly.
By Paul Stewart2 months ago in Fiction
How to Fuck Around
So, you’ve been invited to a party. You are excited to go, right? What? You aren’t excited or aren’t going? You remember the last party you went to and it was a total awkward disaster? Oh, boy, you’re right, you probably just shouldn’t go. What’s that? But you really want to go, but you’ll need some advice on how to interact with peers, socialize, and basically, you know…
By Amos Glade2 months ago in Fiction
