depression
It is not just a matter of feeling sad; discover an honest view of the mental, emotional and physical toll of clinical depression.
Demons of the Mind
My youngest daughter wrote this and asked me to post it. *** I'm terrified of questions. I'm terrified of being asked questions. I hate being asked questions and having to come up with a fake answer just so I won't be bothered. I want to do good. I want to be able to say that I'm a good person. I want to be able to say that I'm proud of who I am. I want to say I'm happy and be telling the truth.
By Michelle Frank7 years ago in Psyche
The Things That Keep Me Breathing
There is a Predator in my brain. Sometimes it is quiet, dormant, napping, but it is always there. If I am not on guard, if I am not constantly vigilant, always on the ready, when it wakes up, it may kill me, and all of those closest to me could suffer. I don't know when The Predator arrived, or if it was always there. I don't remember a time in my life without it. It has been my closest companion in this life. Sometimes I have fallen into its embrace and let it soothe me with its poison. Other times I have rallied against it, screaming and biting, clawing, my way out of its grasp only to realize, it is never really gone. Whether I accept or fight, The Predator does not care. It knows, in the end, it will win either way.
By Paige Graffunder7 years ago in Psyche
My Battle with Myself
I sit here at 12:38 pm, typing away, the low rumble of my stomach a constant reminder of the uphill battle I face daily. It’s a common thing to not eat breakfast for some, a lot of us rush out the door without even considering our first morning meal. For me, it’s a little different—although many people try to excuse my behaviour as they “do it too!” as if to say it isn’t bad. It is, and always will be if you have ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder. I’ve spent the majority of the last five years hungry. Not hungry as in stomach rumbles, but like your whole abdomen feels like it’s been growing teeth, like you’re ready to faint, bones weak under the weight of a heavy crushing pressure of the atmosphere around you. You can’t breathe. Is it the air? Oh wait, you didn’t eat for seven hours again. The dizziness and the lack of ability to process the most basic tasks can stump even the most intelligent of people when malnourished.
By Megan Cowan7 years ago in Psyche
Revving Up
It's time again. Time again. November through December time again. My mind begins to race. Thoughts racing in and out. Revving up for this time of year. This time of year. The fight to control those damn emotional triggers that are so very hard to not feel. My senses are on fire. I feel my body try to fight what my mind feels it needs. This time of year I want to feel numb. No, I do not wish to exist!
By Wendy Niffenegger7 years ago in Psyche
When Muted Emotions Give Relief
It might sound a little bizarre at first, how can dampened emotions provide any kind of relief? Why would you welcome that "nothing zone" from depression where all you do is function? There’s no sparkle, no raison d’être; you retreat within your walls and go through the motions waiting for feeling and enjoyment to return. You wait to live instead of exist, so how could this also be a tonic?
By Alicia Brunskill7 years ago in Psyche
Depression
I saw a few different therapists throughout my life. First, for the childhood trauma that I suffered, and the nightmares it caused—with no positive results. The next was after my daughter was killed, and again, no results. I saw another counselor after my youngest two girls were removed from my custody, same results. Frustration had set in. I lost faith that I would ever find the help I truly needed. My depression was so bad that it debilitated me, left me unable to work, so I applied for disability. In the application process, I was asked to receive a mental health evaluation, which led me to search for yet another counselor. This one would prove to be my savior! He gave me the tools I needed to be capable of managing my depression on my own. Not only to manage it, but to recognize when it is setting in. So, I am going to pass this knowledge on to you, with the hopes that it helps you as well.
By Michelle Frank7 years ago in Psyche
How Do You Do It?
Recently I attended my local community's monthly soup night to show support not only for our towns vets but for a new organization called Alliance for Hope. If your not familiar with Alliance for Hope it's an organization that helps family and communities find helpful resources to understand, cope, prevent and heal after a loss of a suicide and provide support to survivors. For a small town of not much more than 300 people a loss of our youth and older members of the community is devastating.
By Wendy Niffenegger7 years ago in Psyche
Depression
I was first diagnosed with depression in 1997, after the birth of my second child. Postpartum depression, they called it. And I was only diagnosed with that after attempting to step out into traffic. That was the first time my best friend saved my life.
By Michelle Frank7 years ago in Psyche
Drowning
It’s a bit like drowning. At first, you're at the surface and you think you're doing great but suddenly, with one shift movement, your head is under water and you can’t guide air to your lungs. Panic gets to you and before your brain can comprehend the situation and get you out of it, you've lost too much air. The alarm goes off in your head and without even thinking, you take a breath. But instead of air, water fills your lungs, making every single part of them radiate, the intense pain tearing thyself apart right before you drown.
By E L U S I V E7 years ago in Psyche
