body
Feminism demands a future free of fat shaming, body obsession and the male gaze.
Learning to Love All of You
I’ve struggled with my body image for years. Even when I was tiny I thought I was fat, but this is not a story about body image in the usual sense. It took a lot of years of breaking emotionally and mentally for me to finally figure out that my self image isn’t mine. I was molested when I was 3 years old, and from that point on, I never felt comfortable with my body. I remember I would never undress in front of anyone, and when my mom had to bathe me I felt filthy, unpleasant and unusual. I was a child with body image issues. I grew up this way and no one understood; instead, family members made fun of me for it... I finally told my mom about what had happened and I think I was 5 years old by then. She tried to hide her pain but I could see it in her eyes as she told her sister. There was a family meeting and true to patriarchy and the burden of family, she was told not to lay charges against my cousin who had done this to me. I was taken to a doctor to get checked up and I suppose I was alright physically, but mentally and emotionally, I’ve carried the shame and disgust of my own self from the moment it happened...
By Nompumelelo Makhubu6 years ago in Viva
The Open Letter to My Sexual Assailant
To the guy that sexually assaulted me, You may not know what you did to me, or if you do, you may not want to admit to it. I know what you did, I know that it was something horrible. You sexually assaulted me. I know you think you did nothing wrong but I see it otherwise. I tried to forget about it, I tried to forgive you but it's so hard. I have said and done not so nice things to you but I felt like it was the right thing to do. In some weird way, I didn't want to hurt you even though your actions have hurt me.
By Lena Bailey6 years ago in Viva
When I Lose the Weight...
“When I lose the weight, then I’ll take a cute Instagram picture.” “When I lose the wait, I’ll get this dress.” “When I lose the weight, then I’ll make a blog page and take pictures to promote it.” “When I lose the weight, then I’ll go talk to that cute guy I see all the time” “When I lose the weight…”
By MarisaKaye7 years ago in Viva
My Sexual Assault Story
As a little girl, I was never allowed to wear “booty shorts,” glittery tops, v-necks, spaghetti strap tanks, you get the image. All of these things were deemed “trashy” or “too mature” for me at such a young and ripe age. My entire life I had been taught to fear my body, and fear bringing attention toward it. I didn’t want any male to be attracted to me for anything other than my personality, any other attraction was written off as "negative attention." Being the youngest and the only girl child in my family, I naturally began to rebel against these core values I was raised with.
By Brooke Kelly7 years ago in Viva
My Second First Time
Your first experience with anything dictates your feelings subconscious and otherwise. My first sexual experience was a rape. I didn’t want to be scathed in any way. So I decided I wouldn’t be. I was young, I still had time to have impactful experiences. I’d just make an effort to do a bunch of other stuff and effectively knock this one out of the ring. I was desperate to have a sexual experience that could replace the assault. I wanted a first time story I could tell in drinking games. It had to hold up while reminiscing with friends, laughing about how short it was, how uncomfortable, how I had grown frustrated with fumbled buttons and clasps and done the damn thing myself. Unfortunately life and I weren’t on exactly the same page on that front, so I would create one.
By Verdabelle Stoness7 years ago in Viva
Lucy Green Eyes
It was going on eight in the evening. The church meeting had let out late, but I didn’t mind because I got to play with my friends and talk about the upcoming Halloween party that the teacher was going to have for us. While we waited for Uncle Lee to hitch the mule to the wagon to take us home, Mama realized she’d left her brown paper bag containing such items as peppermint balls, Vaseline, her handkerchief and some medicine on one of the pews.
By Paulette Benjamin7 years ago in Viva
How I Realised I Am a Part of the Me Too Movement
When the #metoo movement surfaced, I first didn’t think I had anything in common with it. "That hasn’t happened to me, I don’t know what they mean.” My second approach after reading countless stories on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and everywhere else all these strong women were sharing their stories was, “Okay, well, maybe I have some experiences, BUT I’m too shy and embarrassed to let the world know.” I’m obviously all for women empowerment and women rights, but it was different when it was about me. I didn’t have the courage, and what would my parents say? Would they be disappointed? Embarrassed?
By Hanna Renevi7 years ago in Viva
